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Misanthropy and game

This is a more detailed follow-up to yesterday’s post. Go read it now, if you haven’t already.

A little over a week ago, MisAnDrope e-mailed me asking about the highlighted bit on my About page:

Conservative in politics, anarchist in nature, libertine by necessity, misanthropic by choice.

He didn’t think my writings were misanthropic enough to merit a poetic mention. Well, I am here to prove I am not a poser, but a full-bore, credentialed misanthrope.

First, a definition, from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

Main Entry: mis·an·thro·py

Pronunciation: \mi-ˈsan(t)-thrə-pē\

Function: noun

Date: 1625

: a hatred or distrust of humankind

There are two varieties of misanthropy, differentiated from the feelings from which they spring. The first, and most common form of misanthropy springs from fear. It is an active form of loathing that comes from being a loser in life. These misanthropes are glorified whiners who are bitter at the world for not giving them their due, recognizing their genius, or whatever petty contrivance they can whip up in their demented brain-boxes. A not insignificant number of them are social retards. Even worse, these mental pygmies expend energy and emotion on the misery of their fellow man. Alex Birch sums up this breed of misanthropy perfectly:

Misanthropy, while some of the motivations might have factual backing, is a sentimental attitude adopted by people who share more fear than hate for humans, because if they really saw people as useless, they’d thrive socially to at least make some use of them instead of just complaining like alienated losers.

A real-life example of this sort of misanthrope is “philosopher” Slavoj Žižek (hat tip: Martin Regnen), who was interviewed in the Guardian back in July:

What makes you depressed?
Seeing stupid people happy.

What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, I hope. I didn’t spend a minute bemoaning their death.

What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.

What is your favourite smell?
Nature in decay, like rotten trees.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you.

I admit not knowing a whole lot about Žižek, but reading this interview makes me want to not know about him at all, as he comes off as a loathsome, pathetic insect. The man is transparently invested in other people’s misfortune, delighting when the most dejected of humans are suffering and becoming depressed when they aren’t. I’m not fond of idiots or fools, but I don’t walk around rubbing my palms and cackling with glee when I see one slipping up. The rest of the answers are slightly gussied-up cries of angst, the sort of thing you’d expect from an emo teenager who, despite living in a wealthy suburb and having well-off, doting parents (as all emo punks do), listens to My Chemical Romance, slits his wrists with a boxcutter, and bitches and cries about how horrible his life is and how existence is pointless. You’d wonder why Žižek and all of these clowns who think life is “stupid” or some variation thereof don’t just off themselves and save us from having to listen to their complaining, if it weren’t for the fact that they’re collectively as yellow as a bowl of piss.

Mr. Regnen sums up his opinion of Slavoj Žižek thusly:

To begrudge stupid people what little happiness they get in their lives and then get depressed over it yourself takes a real fucking shithead.

Gregory House is a stylized, cleaned-up fictional version of this variety of misanthrope. Depicting a real misanthrope on national television would be impossible because, as is shown by Žižek, they’re unpleasant creatures. As a result, House is given redeeming characteristics – he is a ludicrously gifted doctor, and as Bhetti noted, many women find him attractive in spite of his assholery. However, House is certifiably socially autistic, an unfortunate side effect of having a high IQ. That, combined with his bad leg, makes him into a resentful, spiteful individual who toys with, bullies, and manipulates people for the thrill of it. As Wilson remarked at the end of the first episode of Season 5:

You spread misery because you can’t feel anything else. You manipulate people because you can’t handle any kind of real relationship, and I’ve enabled it. For years, the games, the binges, the middle-of-the-night phone calls…

And as Obsidian remarked, House goes without romantic companionship due to his antisocial personality:

Which brings me to House himself. Yea, he’s brilliant-he’s also ALONE. No one wants to be around him anymore than they absolutely has to, including his obstensible best friend…And as we who learn and study Game know, House-types rarely if ever get laid in real life-theyre too smart to get away with being the kind of assholes Women actually want, much less like. His only option is the Bunny Ranch.

Put simply, these types of men are poor in character, and not in a sexy way.

Now we come to misanthrope type number two, the group in which I claim membership. These misanthropes are rarer, and saner. Our misanthropy is derived from calculated indifference, not fear. Individuals like myself don’t go around fantasizing about the various ways in which we’d like to see humanity fail, because we simply don’t give a damn about those small-minded things. Furthermore, this misanthropy isn’t the product of being an outcast and a failure, but merely being alive and observant. It comes from being punched in the face, both literally and metaphorically. It’s the result of realizing that the world in its state is out to screw you over in more ways than one, and reacting accordingly.

An example of a misanthrope in this mold is France’s most reviled man of letters, Louis-Ferdinand Céline. Anyone who knows the literary origins of my pseudonym, either by reading Céline’s novels (and shame on you if you haven’t) or by Googling, has an idea of what I’m getting at. The overwhelming majority of Céline’s fiction was based on his life experiences, though like any worthwhile storyteller, he was a master bullshitter and knew how to exaggerate things in a way to captivate people. Journey to the End of the Night was a retelling of Céline’s early life, told through his author surrogate Ferdinand Bardamu, relating his adventures in World War I, French West Africa, the U.S., and post-war France. From Alex Birch’s excellent review:

The novel is a half-fictional, half-biographic work, starting out in an increasingly nervous France, where the main character Bardamu lives. Living a quiet university life, indifferent to the world around him, Bardamu one day sits at a café with his friend Arthur, joking about and demeaning the every day life in France, when the two gentlemen suddenly hear the sound of a military parade outside. Bardamu, excited and stoked from the lively conversation, decides to join the parade in an attempt to mock its pretentiousness. The absurdity of the situation appears when Bardamu finds himself caught in the event, not able to escape. The next thing he knows, he’s standing at the frontline of war, crouching under gunfire from angry Germans. Suddenly Bardamu is at the very center of a World War.

Bardamu’s tone throughout the novel is one of wry indifference. He is a normal person, capable of interacting with others on a normal level, and even falls in love with a woman during his time in America (a prostitute, to be sure, but I never held him up as a model of alphatude). While misanthropic, he remains above the targets of his derision by leavening everything with humor, such that the book is a hysterical read. Additionally, rather than picking on the weak and defenseless, as fearful misanthropes do, Bardamu aims his scorn at the insane, nonsensical sociocultural configuration of the post-war West. An example from the novel that I posted earlier:

There was quite a commotion. Some people said: “That young fellow’s an anarchist, they’ll shoot him, the sooner the better . . . Can’t let the grass grow under our feet with a war on! . . . But there were others, more patient, who thought I was syphilitic and sincerely insane, they consequently wanted me to be locked up until the war was over or at least for several months, because they, who claimed to be sane and in their right minds, wanted to take care of me while they carried on the war all by themselves. Which proves that if you want people to think you’re normal there’s nothing like having an all-fired nerve. If you’ve got plenty of nerve, you’re all set, because then you’re entitled to do practically anything at all, you’ve got the majority on your side, and it’s the majority who decide what’s crazy and what isn’t.

It is this that distinguishes the second type of misanthrope from the first. The Slavoj Žižeks of the world are chickenshit pansies who, as Riff Dog might say, “kick around cats” – the Louis-Ferdinand Célines kick around the people in power.

But what does this have to do with game? Trumwill recently posted a lengthy analysis of Funny People that had this perceptive passage:

On that last one, excessive passivity is a problem. If you play a good doormat, people will see you as a doormat. If you never ask a girl out, you’re almost never going to go out with a girl. If you never make the move for sex, you’re rarely going to get sex. Unfortunately, a lot of passive people read things like this and think, in a self-congratulatory sort of way, that the problem is that they’re too nice. Or that if they were less nice that they would have more success. At that point, it depends on what you consider “nice”. But most guys that can’t get laid being nice and passive also have problems if they decide to become jerks. I know a lot of romantically lonely jerks. At this point in my life, far more lonely jerks than nice guys. [emphasis mine - ed.]

As I wrote over at Hit Coffee:

That’s the money passage, Trumwill. The thing here is that a lot of those “nice guys” were nice solely out of a desire for sex. These men are prone to becoming jerks out of spite, and no one finds spite attractive. New wrapper, same core.

Additionally, back in January, Roissy posted on asshole game, writing this:

There are genuine assholes who are loved, and there are spiteful assholes who get nowhere. The difference is crucial.

Uncaring asshole = success with women.

Caring asshole = failure with women.

When women say they don’t fall for assholes, they are thinking of the second kind. A caring asshole comes from a place of bitterness and spite. His assholery is reactive rather than proactive. He is poor at calibrating which women will be responsive to his dick attitude. Caring assholes are crassly insulting and transparently invested in the outcome of their game.

Uncaring assholes are assholes as a consequence of their indifference. It is the aloofness of the man she loves that drives women crazy with obsession*, and that aloofness is manifest as asshole behavior. An uncaring asshole demonstrates clearly in his body language and tone of voice, not to mention his dearth of words, that he could take her or leave her.

Being a misanthrope is basically taking assholery to its logical conclusion. The question is, are you a mean-minded, spiteful cat-kicker, or are you an indifferent, aloof, confident a-hole? Learning the core principles of game, with its demolition of lies about male and female sexuality, is already a big step in the direction of Céline. Cat-kicker thinking has no place in game, and will result in your failure in the mating dance. Being a misanthrope and successful with women requires you to stop being a small-minded dickhead and aim your ire at bigger, worthier targets.

For concrete examples of “positive misanthropy”, here’s some excerpts from the first part of Martin Regnen’s brilliant guide on how to be an asshole:

Practice your laugh. You need to be able to both smirk and cackle obnoxiously without coming off like a B-movie villain or the fat kid from the Simpsons. This is very important. You don’t want to be a gloomy miserable asshole who never smiles, but a happy asshole who loves being better than everyone else.

Pick your targets. Don’t be an asshole to your grandmother or to small children. Don’t be too much of an asshole to people you have actual power over. The best people to use your full range of asshole skills on are your bosses and attractive young women.

Be confident. You want people to know that you’re an asshole because you’re so great that you can get away with it. Confidence is key. Without confidence you look like an angry basement-dwelling loser who might as well be an asshole because no one ever liked you in the first place anyway.

And from the second part:

Never show irritation. You irritate other people. Other people amuse you. Even if this is not true, make it look like it is.

Look good. Good-looking people get away with much more. Of course there’s only so much you can do, but be in good physical shape and dress like someone successful. If you don’t want to dress like an adult, this is where I suppose expensive thugwear can come in handy.

And with that, I bid you adieu.

23 Responses

  1. I don’t know if I would completely classify myself in this category. I think I have a lot of similar behaviors though. My reason stems more from understanding how unintelligent people are.

    In my view 99+% of people are idiots. A lot of academics realize this, but I’m a little bit different because I see myself in the 99% not the 1%. I try to keep this in mind when considering major decisions.

    I don’t think that I hate people. You don’t hate someone for something they can’t do anything about. You may find humor in their behavior, but I don’t think that classifies as misanthropy.

  2. Great post, and I agree with most of it. These two types of misanthropy are superficially similar, but actually quite different.

    Sadly, I can related to Žižek’s schadenfreude directed at “stupid people” being fortunate. Hating people with 75 IQs is just mean and pathetic, like picking on someone half one’s size. On the other hand, for unqualified people to get into power is sickening (and I think all men have a desire to get into a fight when they see an attractive woman with a douchebag). Take George W. Bush. His IQ is probably around 120, so he’s not a stupid man by any stretch of the imagination, but he was definitely unqualified to be president on a very large number of levels.

    I would argue that a hatred of social injustice is a necessary element of masculinity, but to take it personally and lurch into envy is a sign of weakness. For example, I was pissed off when Bush was president, and I’m annoyed that Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook founder) is held up as the “visionary” for our generation, rather than a kid who got a few lucky breaks. On the other hand, (a) I don’t hate either of these men, and (b) I have no personal desire to switch places with them. (I am unqualified, and do not want, to be U.S. president.) It’s just annoying to see unqualified people in high positions, and a crass insult to the 99.9% of us who work hard and will never get such hand-outs.

    Regarding the “misanthropic genius” archetype, it seems often the case that most of these men peaked in their teens and early 20s, and that their artistic or scientific work after a certain age becomes useless. Their social and sexual isolation led to depression and cognitive decline, and they’ve lost their edge. At root, they aren’t angry about the “stupid people”. They’re pissed off because they’ve gone into decline and become “stupid” in comparison to what they were at age 22. Since they (correctly) blame their shitty social fortune for this loss, they develop a me-vs.-the-world complex. As they see it, the world can’t handle their genius and is therefore trying to isolate, stifle, and destroy it.

  3. I guess I’m partly the first type of misanthrope because it puts a skip in my step to see how the market is punishing people who majored in cheap, bullshit majors like Political Science and Sociology.

  4. Very interesting post, Ferdi. Thanks for putting it up.

    You know, I think many in the HBDsphere are misanthropes of the worst kind. Of particular focus and interest to me, is OneSTDV.

    He strikes me as a deeply bitter Man, and lashes out at those who don’t have the means to fight back-until now. There are others, but to me he really takes the cake.

    As for myself, like I said before, I’ve seen enough suffering, poverty meaness and death to last several lifetimes. I prefer niceness and cordiality, not because I think it gets me laid more, but because I know what the animalistic side of life looks and feels like. I want better, for myself.

    The Obsidian

  5. If you want a great book on misanthropy, check out Florence King’s magnum opus, With Charity Towards None.

  6. Ferdi,

    Excellent post. Laughing at other people’s pain is type 1, laughing at other people’s folly, that’s type 2.

    Most of the time I like to think I’m with you in the type 2 category. On my darker days I know I can be type 1.

  7. Ferdinand:

    great post.

    I think – wrt Game and Pick-up – we often place too much emphasis on technique and such. Really, from what I observe, women want TRUTH in their men.

    Nice guy, beta, saps aren’t honest even though – because of their meek demeanor – we assume they are. As you pointed out, they are nice because that’s their ticket to people liking them. If they are weak and mean, they will fall to the bottom of the social pile.

    Instead they can behave like David Alexander. They can suck up and act opposite their true nature in order to gain favor with women. Inside they decry the state of humanity in general and females specifically.

    But people at least respect a man who is True. Even if he’s a jerk, if he’s a jerk with conviction, he will garner respect. If he mixes that with some other qualities – if he cares – he can be successful with women.

    On the other hand, a nice guy who is a *genuine* nice guy – not a passive-aggressive type who is out to compensate for some hole in his ego – can be just as good with women as a jerk.

    I’ve developed a strong belief that women just want to know what they are getting in their men. They *have* been screwed around by a lot of us. They’ve been lied to, cheated on, led to believe their man was a saint only to find out he was a dog. Not only are they hurt emotionally, they lose respect for the weak man who lies, covers things up, and is passive-aggressive.

    Men are able to observe the attractiveness of women pretty much from the outside. Women don’t have this luxury. They have to poke and prod to find out if we are mate-worthy. Therefore, there are some certain biological qualities they *prefer*, but knowing what they are getting is a quality that can’t be overlooked.

    The old saying “One in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” is applicable.

  8. While I agree with many of the general tenets of “game,” I’ve never been on board with the asshole theory, whether the asshole is caring or uncaring. Again, I’ll go back to my Lou Grant example. He wasn’t trying to be an asshole, it was just his nature. He was aloof, often mean (completely naturally) and generally surly. And he was most definitely not a ladies’ man.

    It’s all the *other* characteristics that make House a heartthrob.

    I’ll grant that there are some useful side characteristics of assholery, but for the most part, ginas don’t tingle when they see boorish behavior. They may see the guy as a “project” and be attracted to that. “House” and Roissy’s ridiculous idea that women love death row inmates come under this heading. In fact, in those specific cases, I contend that the asshole behavior doesn’t raise the guys value, it lowers it, thereby making the guy more “achievable.”

    A good looking and successful guy like House would normally be out of range of most women. But look, he has flaws! He’s an asshole! No other woman would want that, so maybe I have a chance with him after all!

    To that end, what do you want to bet that House fans are disproportionately fat and/or unattractive? We certainly know that the women writing letters to murderers in prison are no beauty queens.

    In general, a woman isn’t attracted to meanness or aloofness all by itself. If they see aloofness, they may wonder what’s really going on with this guy that makes him “above it all.” Oooh, a mystery! How exciting and sexy! Maybe he’s got a big game tomorrow he’s playing in. Or he’s just finishing up his novel. Or he was supposed to be at a party where U2 was attending instead of this one. At this point, indeed, the aloofness may have some usefulness.

    But once this girl realizes this guy’s aloofness is really nothing more than a short attention span and this guy can’t stop daydreaming about sitting on the couch all day tomorrow in his underwear watching a Chuck Norris marathon, then the fantasy is gone. And 9 times out of 10, that’s exactly what aloofness is all about. Nothing sexy at all.

  9. Take George W. Bush. His IQ is probably around 120, so he’s not a stupid man by any stretch of the imagination, but he was definitely unqualified to be president on a very large number of levels.

    Relative to whom?

    The most unqualified President in our lifetimes is Barack Obama. No executive experience, no experience running a business, insufficient familiarity with the culture of this country, and an ideology further from the national center of gravity than any other President in the last century.

    But he runs tight GAME, which was enough to get a large chunk of the electorate to get duped into voting for him. A classic sociopath. But a great person to see as an example of inner Game.

  10. Not only are they hurt emotionally, they lose respect for the weak man who lies, covers things up, and is passive-aggressive.

    I honestly honestly hate these kinds of men. Too cowardly to be your natural jerk nature? Now that’s the worst kind of man. Well, not the worst kind. But the man who does garner the most contempt.

  11. I will have to disagree with you a little. House’s assholeness definitely makes him attractive: he’s smart, biting and sees to the core of the soul about it. He dominates the interaction. Women are attracted. It’s not despite his assholeness, it’s the package it’s presented in.

    When the same actor presents himself as an opressed high-pitched clean-shaven Brit, his good-lookingness disappears. All the audience sees is that his face is funny looking, almost like a horse.

    In order to convince someone of your superiority, you do have to be superior first, which is what I take you to mean by his ‘other qualities’.

    In terms of general asshole behaviour as attractive, it will remain damagingly and solely so for women who haven’t been taught any values, regard for their safety, rationality or restraint. Mostly from increasing broken families, I believe. And pure asshole will invariably always be more attractive than being a weak man.

  12. Great post.

    I bought a copy of JTTEOTN this summer, because I am a huge Houellebecq fan, and I knew that Celine was a huge influence on him. I will have to get off my butt and actually read it.

  13. Caring asshole = failure with women.

    Social conservatives fall in this category.

  14. I would argue that a hatred of social injustice is a necessary element of masculinity

    Won’t somebody please think of the children!?

    No; a hatred of social injustice is definitely not a masculine trait. This is the opposite of the aloofness described above.

    The Romantics wailed and gnashed their teeth over the plight of the downtrodden but they were also peacocking Dandies that went around stabbing Turks and were generally bad, mad and dangerous to know.

    Essentially, with the whole package of reveling in and glorify passionate excess, they could get away with dropping the stiff upper lip and having a hatred of social injustice.

    Unless you intend on stopping by Anatolia to stab the infidel as a part of your hatred of social injustice; being stoic in the face of cruelty and injustice is definitely much more masculine.

  15. Zizek is a buffoon. His whole Euro-mope schtick is only possible thanks to the US Department of Defense.

  16. ”””””””and a crass insult to the 99.9% of us who work hard and will never get such hand-outs. ”””””””””

    If you are smart though you should understand that you can give yourself “handouts” and do not need to worship the system with your hard work forever but only a token period of worship and then freedom with your own thoughts and actions as your guide. Why do “smart” people always say stupid shit like the above. No need to be jealous of anyone you can be them if you want to. Just put in 84 hours of work a week for a while save money and chill.

  17. Nah, I don’t think we disagree, other than on what the definition of “assholeness” might be. All the things you named are indeed things women are attracted to.

  18. “being stoic in the face of cruelty and injustice is definitely much more masculine.”

    False. Being stoic in the face of cruelty and injustice is only masculine if you are on the end of the inescapable cruelty and injustice. I also believe that most truly stoic men don’t play well with the ladies.

    But being stoic in the face of cruelty and injustice to those weaker than yourself is just craven wimpery.

    Oh, and the Euro trash guy is lame.

  19. Good post.

    Over the years, I have evolved into a Type 2 misanthrope, the key word here being ‘evolved’. Type 1 misanthropes deliberately refuse to move beyond the pain that others have inflicted upon them – suffering that, all too often, the victims have invited upon themselves – but rather wield their hurt as a cudgel against oft unsuspecting, and undeserving, folk. As noted, theirs is a reactive, rather than proactive, response.

    If one isn’t as careful an observer of oneself as he is of others, his Type 2 misanthropy can easily morph into that of Type 1. The Type 2 man must be able to look at himself in a way that is as cool and calculated as he sees others, else bitterness and resentment can creep up on him.

    Staying socially active in a variety of environments is very helpful in this regard. While my background is of a scientific nature, I made a brief foray several years ago into the world of real estate, and had not only the chance to forge several helpful new relationships, but also be able to make observations about both myself and others that I would not have been able to do otherwise.

    The other part of this self-awareness lies in knowing and accepting one’s limitations, then making certain that one is not brought down by such. For example, people in my family, including yours truly, are more prone to depression than most, so I have to be especially on guard, as it’s all too easy for me to slip into a deep funk that inhibits my ability to be the master of my own game.

    I’ll close for now by sharing the observation I had about myself while reading FB’s entry:

    I am a Type 2 because I am not an asshole to those whom I can hurt, but am rather an asshole to those who think they can’t be hurt.

  20. [...] more, but I’m starting to feel the wrong kind of misanthropic feelings.  As I said at the beginning Andy looks like he’ll be an alcoholic like his father [...]

  21. You know what? I came here to stop being a fucking misanthrope. You guys are making a mockery of this. I don’t give a shit if someone is happy, and I laugh if someone died. I don’t care about the human race, and if anything, I feel scorn for it. I don’t care about sex, I find it superficial and pointless. But on to the point. You guys bitch too much. Can’t you guys move the fuck on? I mean, you guys can’t even control your emotions. Bla bla bla he looks like a shithead for saying this and that. Does that make you feel better? The fact you can succeed in a fucked up society? Does it make you feel better that you are a parasite, feeding on other people’s helplessness? Being a misanthrope is a mistake. The logic is all flawed, and the feeling of being grandeur is misplaced. I know none of you are going to change no matter how many people tell you.

    You aren’t different from everyone else, misanthropes. Sorry to break up your little fantasy.

  22. [...] concerned with others, just as many of them are often bitter individuals who border on being Type 1 misanthropes. The primary difference between nice people and outright misanthropes is that the former cover [...]

  23. [...] by Ferdinand Bardamu The Hater of the Month for October is Dominic Suares, who was unhappy with my post on misanthropy: You know what? I came here to stop being a fucking [...]

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